The Orthodox Song

At the risk of alienating everyone that has read and enjoyed this site so far, I offer a little song I wrote for my Orthodox friends who didn’t get to celebrate western Easter this past weekend.

It’s to the tune of Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song, and is offered with tongue in cheek, and apologies offered in advance.

The Orthodox Song

If you’re the only Ortho kid that goes to your school,
You shouldn’t feel alone and think you’re so uncool
Lots of folks are Orthodox that you never knew
The list is pretty long, but here are just a few…

Guess who wore a cross and a fine set of dreadlocks,
Bob Marley converted to Ethiopian Orthodox
Nia Vardalos had a big fat Greek wedding
Jennifer Aniston’s also Greek and so is Uncle Jesse

Tina Fey’s wedding was an Orthodox ceremony
Christian Bale is too but his Batman voice is phony
Yul Brynner’s Orthodox, and so is Jim Belushi,
Lauryn Hill venerates icons, and she’s my favorite Fugee

Chorus
Pull up your Ortho socks, and set your Ortho clocks
It really Ortho rocks to be Eastern Orthodox

Tom Hanks is Greek Orthodox, and he played Forrest Gump
If we get an Orthodox president, it won’t be Donald Trump
(not Orthodox)

Oksana Baiul, and Nadia Comăneci,
A couple of Orthodox athletes – that’s awfully peachy
Vlade Divac, and Troy Polamalu,
Jeff George is Orthodox, and so’s his mullet hairdo.

Chorus
Pull up your Ortho socks, and set your Ortho clocks
It really Ortho rocks to be Eastern Orthodox
So walk your Ortho walk, and talk your Ortho talk
If you’re the only Ortho kid on your entire block
It really really rocks
To be an Eastern Orthodox